Monday, March 15, 2010

I feel like I'm Falling....

I must admit, for a few days there I was considering falling off of the grid and staying out of contact for a few more weeks. The freedom of not having internet, a cell phone, keys in my pocket, or even carrying my wallet around has been so gratifying I cannot begin to express it. I had a very special 3 weeks at FeudoTudia, the last Wwoofing farm that I was on. Sudhir and Gila were great hosts whose warmth grew everyday. I can honestly say that each day brought something new and interesting (and at times just plain weird). I will miss tying vines in the perfectly still hills of central Sicily, I will miss the communal meals with wwoofers and hosts all sharing experiences, I will miss the group sing song that inevitably follows when we wash dishes, I will miss the lazy afternoons and their freedom, I will miss Houdini and La Tigrota (dogs- one young loving and peppy, the latter being old, crusty, and withered). I may miss the wwoofers the most. My time at Tudia was uniquely divided into two parts- the Vermont Girls/Cesco half, and the 6 boys all-star crew. Some of those great wwoofers may follow closely behind us to our next farm, and I cannot wait to continue to make more memories and concentrated awesomeness with them.
But at last, as the title of this blog originally intended, things must change. We move on, our surroundings change, and, if we are doing things right, we change. I am changing and the process is great. Of course my essential self will always be who/what it is, but there are some subtle internal changes happening in me that I hoped would happen when I set out on this trip. No, mom and dad, I have not figured out what I want to do with my life…sorry. I have, however, accepted the fact that I don’t need to figure it all out at age 24 and that- guess what- I may NEVER figure it out! The key for me is enjoying how I pass the time trying to figure out this big mess of life. Many of these changes may not be tangible or quantifiable, but I feel they could be leading me closer to being myself, knowing what that is, and being happy with it.
Other thoughts: I am really enjoying sharing this experience with Curt. Especially right now. This last week, home sickness has officially set in. I know this feeling and I know it all too well. My daily thoughts turn from wherever I am and its beauty and awesomeness to my friends and family and wondering what they are doing or wishing they were there with me. “Hmm, mom and dad are just getting up for work right now. Probably a boring ol’ Tuesday, they might very well be scratching the ice off of their windshield at this very moment.” Or “Oh man, Kale is at that show right now!! Man I wish I could be there shaking my thing with him on the floor.” Or “darn, today is ______ birthday!” or “I wonder if grandma and grandpa are bickering over which TV channel to watch or the temperature of the heater.” Anyways, in a time when I am fully appreciating the gravity of my homesickness, it is nice to be able to knock on Curt’s door and ask for a hug. He is like a little pinch of home that I take with me everywhere. He reminds me of the wonderful life and people that I have left behind to explore the world and myself a little. Each day I get to see more and more of exactly how special he is and how true, warm, and open his character is. I feel fortunate to be here, doing what I am, with such a great person. Thanks buddy.
All mushy and warm feelings aside, my beard is finally getting pretty gnarly. By gnarly, I mean it looks like Abe Lincoln’s neck beard at age 13. Can’t win ‘em all!
I love and miss everyone and I will try to post a picture blog soon of my new farm!!

Upcoming Agenda:
New Wwoofing farm in Paterno, Sicily. March 15- April 4th
2 day layover in Pisa. Probably visit Florence as well. April 4-6th.
Visit our best friend Steve doing the Peace Corpse in Morocco. April 6-18ish.
2 Day layover in Madrid. Visit a few friends. April 18-20ish.
Return to Wwoofing farm in Ireland. Spend a week working and visiting Irish friends. April 20-27th.
Fly home. Hug family. Happily ever after. April 27th.
Summer Begins…


Susan Iverson said...

I like the flying home and hugging family part the most, of course, but I am really glad this trip has turned out so well for you. I am excited you may get to Florence and you have to go to the Prado in Madrid. So much to do, so little time. Whatever you do it will be a time to remember.

ms. cugno to some said...

Hey! First of all I can't believe you're in Sicily!! (Give the motherland my salutations.) Second, thanks for sharing your life perspective, always a treat. On homesickness, that was nice to hear, having been there as well (quite recently) for sure. And the Abe Lincoln at 13 line still has me chuckling. Some day, Hal! Anyway it was nice checking in with you, I'm glad life is treating you so well!

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