Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Happy Days, Float Away or A Note on Stability Shock

Notes on Blog neglect:

I feel as though I have neglected you Blog. I don’t particularly enjoy feeling neglectful, especially to a public journal that exists in the magical, made-up world we now depend on entirely too much called the Internet. So there. I don’t feel bad. I created you as an outlet for expression not to become another bullet on my laundry list of things I need to do. So I’m cutting you off. I’m not discontinuing you, like a band breaking up. It’s more like we are taking a hiatus, and whenever we feel like it we can play a spontaneous show at some local venue. It’s not you, it’s me.

Notes on Culture Re-shock:

More like stability shock. Out of the three times that I have lived abroad, this time was the most difficult for me to readjust to home life. I don’t specifically know why. I was excited to see family and friends, still am, and I look forward to continuing to figure out the next step in my life, but I’ll be damned if I didn’t feel out of place in some of the most familiar of situations. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that in a matter of 4 days I went from spontaneously jumping on the next flight out of Madrid to avoid volcanic ash to substitute teaching in an American middle school. In one week I went from seeing shoeless children wrestle and kick around garbage in a Berber village to daily observing American children abuse the privileges that have been handed to them on a silver platter. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am making money, paying rent, going out, seeing friends and family weekly, and finding a quiet little schedule to nestle into every week. I’m not saying I like or dislike it; it’s just very different. I am not reading or journaling as much, two qualities of my travel that I was very proud of. I am exercising more, a lot more, in preparation for some upcoming runs and half marathons. I don’t have an answer, and I don’t expect to find one. I can admit though, that there is something wildly fantastic about having lived for 24 years on this earth and experiencing a completely new and foreign emotion.

Notes on a Happy weekend:

I had an incredible weekend. Beyond incredible. Sasquatch at the Gorge. This 3-day music festival is a time when I get to see and hang out with people that I rarely do any other time of year. I can witness a few of them in their element, and in some respects completely be in my own element. I made new friends, reconnected with old friends, continued to bond with my brother, saw a lot of great music, and had some INCREDIBLE luck. I didn’t spend beyond my means, but had the experience of doing so. It almost took me a whole day to decompress and come back down to earth. I almost floated away on account of my happiness :)

Notes on notes:

Sometimes I keep notes. For order, for reminder, for habit. I have been using my ipod touch a lot to jot down thoughts, poems, book and movie suggestions, contact information, even grocery shopping lists. There is something very nice about looking at a bulleted and organized list and progressively crossing off item after item until everything that past Hal wanted future Hal to accomplish has been finished. Then again, it’s also nice to completely disregard an organized note in the spirit of spontaneity, and just enjoy being. Present Hal enjoys that the most. I hope that you, dear reader, are finding ways to just enjoy being.

My Playlist