Thursday, October 1, 2009

Turn and face the strange


Alas, loyal bloggies, I return with a post about recent changes in my life, good and bad.

Travels over. Daily excitement is slow, like molasses in January. I find myself at a pretty basic point in my life: broke, no car, and no serious job commitment in the future. I suppose I always knew this time would come, but now it is time to work and pay off all the fun times that were had this last year.

Change: I now work at Harbor Greens, a natural and local foods market. I am a cashier/miscellaneous man. I dabble in produce, stocking, cleaning, and pretty much anything they want me to do. Although the job is already monotonous, the employees and customers alike are all very nice.

With my days off (2 or 3) I will be substitute teaching for both Tacoma Public Schools and Peninsula School District. It pays better but is also less consistent. It looks like I might move into a place in Tacoma with my brother and friend in the end of October. I'm excited for that. I like Tacoma and for a real report on the life and culture of the town check out my brothers blog.

I recently got a membership to the Y, and often find myself there seeking solace from the monotony. Once again I feel the travel bug creeping up on me, but realize this time it is probably more of an excuse to escape from an unknown future than anything else. The question remains: What do I want to do with my life? The more I think about it, the more I question teaching. Is it okay to settle for something just because its easy or you need the money?

I have been fighting off an overwhelming loneliness lately. This is a surreal emotion for me. I have not felt truly alone, either due to distraction or a relationship, in....well I cannot remember the last time. I don't see this as a bad thing. It will be a great chance to grow as an individual, but that does not make it easier...

I have crossed a few things in my life very recently that have encouraged living in the present moment. One being a book called "Meditation for Beginners" by Jack Kornfield and the other an audio book called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. They both express the importance of not dwelling on the past, not worrying about the future, not fretting the hard times, and not clinging to the good times, but accepting each moment for what it is. Good or bad. This is something I hope to work towards and I feel it fits right in with the theme of this web log.

Tonight, like all nights, I will lie awake in bed. I will think about people in my life, past and present, I will think about places and possibilities, I will secretly make wishes, I will thank the vast expanses for everything wonderful in my life, I will wonder what tomorrow brings (hopefully excitement) and wonder what I can bring tomorrow (hopefully excitement). The one truth that I have learned is that there WILL be changes.

In the immortal words of David Bowie:

Time may change me,
but I can't trace time...

My Playlist